If you look for love…

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Some say that you shouldn’t look for love. That love will find you when you are ready. Or that love is for hopeless romantics, that love is temporary, that it has to do with luck. Or with being in a “relationship”. That you have to act this way or that way to get it. Read this book, read that book. There are so many contradictions out there, it can leave us feeling frustrated. I can’t tell you how it is, but I can tell you what happened to me. In all this confusion I went looking. I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for, but I had this notion that love was something magic, transforming and powerful. I went looking everywhere, from my first love, to writing, to art, to fashion.… I ran around chasing it like a kid would chase a kite – falling, stumbling, screaming along the way. I was looking for magic. The important thing was that I ran towards my fears, not away from them. I felt lost and exhausted at times. Sometimes I wondered if I wasn’t actually crazy. People were like: “what the heck are you doing?” I didn’t know what to say…while everyone was busy having “real problems” and “normal life”…how could I say: “I’m looking for my heart’s desire.” It sounded pretty weird, even in my own head. But that’s what I was doing!
I didn’t know what it was in the beginning, but I wanted to find it. So I asked the question. Put a big sign on my door saying “What is your hearts desire?”. Looked at it every day for over two years. And then I started waking up knowing exactly what I wanted. I wanted butterflies. I wanted the stuff that they say doesn’t exist in “real” life. Wanted to put that lock on the lovers bridge. Wanted to feel inspired, excited. I wanted a soulmate. I wanted a breathtaking, transforming, out-of-this-world love. „You are crazy, unrealistic, idealist, in the clouds…“ were just some of the things THEY said. And I said fuck reality, I’m going to find it.
And then the day came. I found it. Or it found me. It doesn’t really matter. I found 6 soulmates, instead of one. And it looks like others might be coming my way. Life is pretty generous if we don’t limit ourselves.
What I think matters is that you do not give up when following your dreams becomes hard. That you dont let anyone define love FOR you.  Or anything else for that matter, unless it is something you like. I noticed that a lot of people settle and when they do, they want YOU to settle too. Some want you to buy their bullshit, their limitations and their prisons, so that they can live with theirs more easily. The cool thing is, noone can force you. Dream on dreamers, you might as well. Look for it. The magic, the glitter, the sparks, the incredible – its all real. Even if it seems out of reach right now…dont let the spark die. My experience is – if you look for IT, you WILL find IT. Nothing to lose.

-Lana

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Certains disent qu’il ne faut pas chercher l’amour . Que l’amour te trouvera quand tu es êtes prêt . Ou que l’amour est pour les romantiques désespérés, que l’amour est temporaire, que cela a à voir avec la chance ou avec une “relation”. Qu’il faut faire si ou ça pour l’avoir. Il y a tellement de contradictions, c’est frustrant. Je n’ai pas de réponse, mais je peux vous raconter mon histoire. Dans toute cette confusion, je suis allé chercher. Je ne savais pas quoi exactement, mais j’avais cette idée que l’amour c’était quelque chose de magique, transformant et puissant. Je suis allé chercher partout – de mon premier amour, à l’écriture, à l’art, à la mode … J’ai couru dans tous les sens comme un enfant chassant un cerf-volant – en tombant, en trébuchant, en criant le long du chemin. J’étais à la recherche de la magie. Il fallait aussi faire face à mes peurs. Je me sentais perdu et épuisé des fois. Parfois, je me demandais si je n’étais pas folle en fait.
Je sais que les gens autour de moi ne pouvaient pas me comprendre… alors que tout le monde était occupé avec des «vrais problèmes» de la «vie normale» … comment pourrais-je dire : «Je suis à la recherche du désir de mon cœur.” Un peu bizarre, mais c’est ce que j’etais en train de faire !
Je ne savais pas ce que c’était au début, mais je voulais le trouver absolument. J’ai donc posé la question. J’ai écrit sur un papier « que desire ton coeur?” et je l’ai collé sur ma porte. Je le regardais tous les jours pendant plus de deux ans . Et puis j’ai eu les réponses. Je voulais sentir les papillons. Je voulais “l’impossible”. Je voulais mon nom sur un cadenas de l’amour. Je voulais me sentir inspirer, excité. Je voulais une âme sœur. Je voulais un amour à couper le souffle, un amour hors de ce monde.  Pour EUX j’etais “folle, irréaliste, idéaliste, dans les nuages … ” et je m’en foutais. Et puis un jour je l’ai trouvé. Ou elle m’a trouvé peu importe. 6 âmes sœurs au lieu d’une!. La vie est généreuse si on ne se limit pas nous-mêmes.
D’après moi, ce qui est important, c’est de continuer même quand ça devient difficile de suivre ses rêves. Ne laisser personne définir l’amour pour toi. Ne laisser personne définir quoi que ce soit dans ta vie, a moins que ça te plaise. J’ai remarqué que beaucoup de gens fixent les choses dans leur vie, et quand ils le font, ils veulent que les autres font ainsi. Certains veulent te faire acheter leurs bullshit, leurs limites et de leurs prisons, afin qu’ils puissent plus facilement vivre avec. Le truc cool, c’est que personne ne peut te forcer sans ton consentement. Dream on dreamers, you might as well.  Cherchez. La magie, les paillettes, l’incroyable L’impossible – c’est possible. Même si ça paraît hors de portée en ce moment. Mon expérience – si Tu cherches Tu trouves. Rien a perdre.

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MY 7 CHOSEN WORDS: 1.Love 2.Stubborn 3.Dreamy 4.Fruity fragrance 5.Stories 6.Extraordinary 7.Humans lana@lestandart.com

5 Comments

  • January 22, 2014

    rainnsunshine

    ” And i said fuck reality “… i’ll drink to that. Cheers.

  • January 23, 2014

    Lana

    Cheers!!!! :)

  • January 23, 2014

    Alex

    Relating at least one of them to your story; to find and keep a healthy balance between the desire to have more, be more. As humans we constantly want to experience genuine satisfaction and ease (you know, THAT kind of happiness) during the journey and – as I see it – the different destinations and outputs we experience all trough out our lives. Not saying it should be or have to be ‘good enough’, but might as well be ‘good enough for now’. As humans we are always hungry for more, novelty, challenges. Even the most extreme traditional character needs edges and break-up lines. We need to learn to enjoy more dimensions of our lives, even the downhills, not only the outputs we desire from it. Living the theory, this could be the other side of the coin. Some of life’s charm is its absolutism and “everything always happens at the same time”. So perhaps we should (also) learn how to even out the output spread a bit, you know- set more mid targets, to enjoy it more and even “more efficiently”. We don’t always have to have it all, at once.

  • January 23, 2014

    jasna

    It sounds so like you Lana, and so true,love is eveywhere no matter how pathetic can my words sound, love tante J

  • January 29, 2014

    Amir

    Nice one !!! :-)