Timing

Football field_Sweden_Le Standart

Yesterday, once again exhausted after casting in a week of my life. Crashing into bed, ready to relax and clear my head with some great tunes, I stumbled across something extraordinary. It was one of those moments when meeting a totally different context that could be implemented into “the real thing”. Actually looking for another song, I came across an artist I usually never listen to or would listen to. With doubts in my mind I still gave the new album a shot (GREAT decision), since I remembered I was so surprised how much I loved his last featured hit. It was dark, the perfect timing for this kind of music. Surprised by a well timed and much needed meeting, I couldn’t stop listening. Totally infatuated by the innate storytelling of each song, I fell asleep.

I have a good habit of taking long walks by myself. These are usually moments when I generate strength, ideas and inspiration. Today I felt like I could go on forever, like the road would never end. Captivated by one of the songs I had heard the night before; I knew there was something more to it than solely the joy of walking to it.

Throughout my life I have had to learn a lot about being friends with timing. The love/hate relationship that we have with each other. I found out this song I had heard had a lot to offer me on this topic. Walking through my thoughts, wondering about what to write about in today’s post, I noticed I couldn’t stop hitting the repeat button. It was as if I had been left with an unanswered question…

Over the years and especially lately, I have had to think a lot about strengths and weaknesses. Dreams and sacrifices. An absolute key player in my equation has been my way of finding inspiration in everything that happens around me and making something out of it. As we all know, creativity can’t be timed. You have to be open to it, feel it and go for it – all the way. Sounds like something not meant for the scared ones. On the other hand, maybe that’s completely nonsense! I tend to create some of my best pieces when and because of the fact that I have been afraid of things, due to my roller coaster kind of lifestyle. Yet the “being afraid” thought has never stopped me from moving forward. Timing has been my number one enemy and accepting its uncontrollable circumstances. As humans, we rarely settle for “no” nor “it’s not going to happen”. Hope is our strongest drive. It is also what keeps us awake, on hold, making it difficult to lean back and enjoy the ride once and a while. To be “free”. Because to me, freedom has to be just that. “To be in the moment”, as everyone so nicely describe it. (A re-occurring subject at Le Standart as well, maybe due to the real complexity behind it!)

Being strong as we are, patient, “fighters”, few things are able to completely ruin our balance. Being close to our feelings and very analytical, emotions are something we have learned to use in a certain way. Yet sometimes, this makes us very vulnerable. Some things, sometimes, with timing, can rip us up and annoy every single feeling we have stuffed inside us. If something does, you know there is something worth investigating a bit more. This song brought about just that.

“Life isn’t fair”, we all know that. As a young girl I always had big dreams for myself. Curious about life I became very hungry to explore its opportunities, while working my butt off to achieve the goals I had set out for myself. At times I felt tricked by bad timing, bottling up unexploited potential and at the same time I was trying to understand why. I often think of those “canned hopes”, they never grow out of us, that’s why we try so hard. We are still the same.

Passing by a lonely football field, as an interpretation of this song and my own applied experiences: I felt the potential, the frustration, the bottled-up time that never was. Yet it was there. All of a sudden, like those very few moments, my heart opened up there on the road – and I cried. Like a shaken Champagne bottle, I didn’t know if I should let it pop and take me in another direction, or see it as a passed timing and wait for a better one.

One of the biggest failures of all that life so uncontrollably can throw at us through this timing issue is (but no ones fault): that locked-up potential, so difficult to describe and the sorrow it leaves us hanging with. The thought of never knowing what could have been. We don’t want it to be locked away forever, because we too want to experience “the right timing”. Not being able to find and enjoy that moment, those moments, that’s one of my biggest fears. Without a doubt.

The truth is, with regards to timing, I’m far behind in many ways, haven’t reached half of my goals yet! BUT the absolute most important thing is: it never made me stop believing in me having them, even if most of the times (due to timing) it feels impossible. I truly wish I could translate the Swedish (brilliant) song (“Fri till slut”) by Håkan Hellström, below, but perhaps this little story could function as an interpretation of it!

***

Som en svensk översättning lämnar jag er denna underbara sång av Håkan Hellström “Fri till slut”.

//A.

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Ernest Hemingway_Le Standart

All about soul. Music addict. Business mind. Digital Marketer and PR Professional for a living. Passionate. People's person. In love with life and challenges. Swedish, half-Finnish, lived most of my life in my suitcase but moved back to Sweden in 2013. So here I am. Follow my journey!

2 Comments

  • March 28, 2014

    Hatice

    Love your pics!

  • March 29, 2014

    Alex

    Merci chérie!